Tu Kaun Hai Tera Naam Kya from the movie Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi (1996).
This is probably one of the most popular Akshay songs. Can’t recognize it? Does “Seedhe saadhe Akshay” ring a bell? Enjoy this horrible but catchy composition which our Singh is King star would want to forget. And do I even have to tell you that it’s sung by Kumar Sanu and composed by Anu Malik?
Tu kaun hai tera naam kya
Tu kaun hai tera naam kya
Dil dhadkane waale tera naam kya
Tu kaun hai tera naam kya
Hmmm… Mujhse pyaar karna hai itna tu samjhle
Acha lagun aaja nahin te bach ke tu nikal le
Jai Mata ke bhakt hain
Vaadon ke sakht hain
Aakash se hum aaye
Tan man ke hum hain sache
Marti hain humpe ladkiyan
Boodhe aur bache
Arre na hum Amitabh
Na Dilip Kumar
Na kisi hero ke bache
Hum hain seedhe sadhe Akshay Akshay
Hum hain seedhe sadhe Akshay
Oh kabhi dang kabhi doong aise Akshay Akshay
Kabhi bang kabhi boom vaise Akshay
Since this “Sidhe Sadhe Akshay” is quite popular I decided to put in some extra effort to decipher its lyrics. This song is sure to make your heart pump more blood. Read more…
Hum Total Fida Tum Pe from the movie Mr. and Mrs. Khiladi (1997).
The song starts with some lines I presume are in Spanish. Anu Malik’s voice immediately starts to get on your nerves. The lyrics are down right atrocious and are written by Dev Kohli.
Hum total fida tum pe
Hum na honge juda tumse
Humne chaha hai tumko sanam
Humne maanga tumhe tumse
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You love me I love you
Roses are red, violets are blue, this song makes me pukish, I’m going to the loo. Damn. I’m good! Read more…
Samose Main Aaloo from the movie Mr. And Mrs. Khiladi (1997).
Never in my life have I seen anybody wear such ugly and repulsive night dresses. Akshay Kumar and Juhi Chawla dance to a song that makes zero sense and pull it off. The stupidity came to them naturally. The singer who comes after Kumar Sanu for singing the most number of ghaati songs is Abhijeet. These were the times before he became a judge on reality shows and started flirting with Alka Yagnik. Juhi registers her first post on this blog with this song! CONGRATS! *applause*
Jab tak rahega samose mein aaloo
Tera rahunga oh meri shaloo
Jab tak rahega samose mein aaloo
Chipki rahegi tujhse yeh shaloo
Do the lyrics of this song make any sense? Not to me! That’s why it’s on the blog! Salman, Karishma and Rambha get together to make you laugh and cry. This song is perfect to introduce to your kids simple words like hi, bye, yes, no and basic rhyming.
Kabhi uff kabhi hi
Kabhi hi kabhi bye
Kabhi aaye Kabhi jaaye
Kabhi kyun kabhi why
Kabhi yes kabhi no
Kabhi haan kabhi na
Rani yeh bhi koi baat hai
Chaar din ki chandni hai
Phir kaali raat hai
Dhal jayegi yeh jawani
Sochne ki baat hai
Duniya mein aayi ho toh love kar lo
Thoda sa jee lo
Thoda thoda mar lo
Duniya mein aaye ho toh love kar lo
Thoda sa jee lo
Thoda thoda mar lo
Did I mention that the music is by our beloved Anu Malik and vocals by Kumar Sanu?
Hallo Hallo from the movie Wah Tera Kya Kehna (2002).
A typical Govinda track. Sadly, I could not find the video for this song anywhere. So, I’m posting the audio instead. If you want better quality, Google, you’ll find the song.
Most of us outside Hyderabad would not understand the meaning of this song (like myself). Have no fear, Google is our friend.
Potti = girl; Hallu = slow
I did not even know about this movie till today. With songs like these, no wonder no one noticed it!
Main potti pataunga
Magar hallo hallo
Hallo hallo
Main potti pataunga
Magar hallo hallo
Hallo hallo
Roothi hai manaunga
Magar hallo hallo
Hallo hallo
I know I’m going to get bashed by some Madhuri fans for posting this song on the blog but it is just plain ridiculous. Right at the start of the song, when Anil holds Madhuri, she’s shaking and dancing with an expression on her face showing she’s having some kind of an orgasm! If you can’t hold on for more than 2 seconds, then this love shit ain’t for you missy! Anil Kapoor with his earrings makes a style statement.
Ouch! (heaving breathing)
(violent twisting and shaking with an orgasmic expression)
Ho dhak dhak karne laga
Ho mora jiyara darne laga
Aa re re dhak dhak karne laga
Ho mora jiyara darne laga
Saiyan baiyan chhod na
Kachchi kaliyan tod na
Saiyan baiyan chhod na
Kachchi kaliyan tod na
Kachchi kaliyan? You really expect him to believe you’re an innocent virgin with all that booty shaking and seduction?! Watch the video for the way Anuradha Paudwal says “Laga”. The lousy lyrics are by Sameer. Brilliant.
Ho Sarkay Lev Khatiya Jada Lage from the movie Raja Babu (1994).
This is a masterpiece. The music, the lyrics and the dance all add to the lousiness quotient. Do not miss this for the world! I still fail to understand the reason for all the pelvic thrusts. The lyrics were penned down by Sameer and our beloved Kumar Sanu lent his voice.
Sarkay lev khatiya jada lage
Sarkay lev khatiya
Ho sarkay lev khatiya jada lage
Sarkay lev khatiya jada lage
Jade mein balma pyaara lage
My Adorable Darling from the movie Main Khiladi Tu Anari (1994).
MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD,
M for My!
A for Adorable!
D for Darling!
My Adorable Darling!
My Adorable Darling
I think of you every night every morning
Hey my Adorable Darling
I think of you every night every morning
Tere bin main nahin jee sakta hun
Oh my darling main tera prince charming
This song, its music, its lyrics and the singers are a testament to the lousiness of Anu Malik. It’s pure, unadulterated crap! Watch how Saif Ali Khan jumps and crashes through each of the letters of the word “MAD”. This one is for you hopeless (Really, I mean it) romantics out there.
This one is a cherished childhood memory. Kader Khan shouting “Suraksha” in some weird accent plus the brilliant lyrics of the song make it one of my all time favourite. This is one ghaati song you would not want to miss and one song that Saif Ali Khan would desperately want to forget! Monica Bedi shakes it along with Saif. Rare stuff!
Ola ola ola ola
Ola ola ola ola
Suraksha, Suraksha…
Oh mere sanam, oh mere sanam
Jal gayi duniya, ek hue hum
Ek nahin, do nahin, suraksha karo meri saaton janam
Suraksha, suraksha, teri karenge saaton janam
Suraksha, suraksha, teri karenge saaton janam
Ek nahin, do nahin, suraksha karo meri saaton janam
